Art Credit: Jano Tantongco, jano.tantongco@gmail.com

AUDIO

Loyalty is often seen as a virtue, something to be revered and upheld. It is deeply connected to our identity, attachment, and sense of fairness. Loyalty is not always a conscious choice; it is a force that evolves as we grow, shaping our relationships and our expectations of the world. The evolution of loyalty is influenced by our attachment styles, which dictate how we connect with others and how we remain steadfast in our commitments. In political contexts, loyalty can be manipulated, often distorting our sense of fairness and justice. Understanding our own loyalty patterns is crucial to navigating the complexities of life and relationships.

But what happens when loyalty meets disillusionment? When the very things we are loyal to—people, institutions, or ideas—fail us? This is when we are initiated into disillusionment, loss of innocence, withdrawn projections, and the start of individuation. Our attachments often come with idealized versions of reality that must eventually crumble. The process of disillusionment can be painful, leading to feelings of rage, revenge, betrayal, and loss. It is also a necessary step in the journey of individuation—the process of becoming who we truly are.

Mourning the loss of illusions is not just about letting go; it is about taking responsibility for our own lives and choices. It requires a deep, introspective journey into the unconscious, where we must confront the distorted voices, complexes, and dysfunctional patterns that have influenced our decisions. By accepting the wisdom of the unconscious, we can begin to align with our true nature and values, guided by the voice of the Self as it expresses through dreams and synchronicity.

Eventually, we are led to a crisis of loyalty and challenged to choose Self over the system—a choice that often comes at a great cost. Whether it’s coming out as gay, defecting from a country, whistleblowing, or choosing not to have children, these decisions are an act of defiance to the world and loyalty to Self. It may require stepping away from oppressive religious systems or voting against one’s political party. Each of these examples involves a deep alignment with one’s true nature and a rejection of external expectations.

Choosing Self is not an easy path. It requires tenacity, self-reflection, and a willingness to face the consequences of stepping away from the collective norms. Yet, it is essential for personal growth and authenticity. We must develop the courage to be disliked. True freedom and belonging come not from adhering to the expectations of others but from embracing our uniqueness and living authentically.

In the end, loyalty to Self is about more than just making choices—it is about facing the unconscious structures that influence our lives and identifying the wise voice of the Self amidst the noise of the systems we are embedded in. It is about mourning the death of illusions and embracing, without evasion, the responsibility that comes with freedom.

HERE’S THE DREAM WE ANALYZE:

It’s nighttime. There is flooding in the backyard and inside my childhood home in Brooklyn, NY. I was saving white kittens from crocodiles in the water. My deceased mother, younger and thinner than in real life, was chopping vegetables. I told her to get on the counter due to the flooding and the crocodile. She did as I said. I am not wet, though I was in the water too. Then I woke up.

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