Aaron Balick – Why does social media weaponize our reactions?

Nov 9, 2023


Art Credit: Jano Tantongco jano.tantongco@gmail.com


The digital era has potentiated emotional reactivity, especially with the rise of social media. Platforms like Twitter have weaponized emotions, intensifying polarization and complicating mutual understanding.

Reactivity often usurps reflective response, with social media fueling instantaneous, reflexive reactions. This hampers thoughtful decision-making and obscures the other party’s perspective, trapping discourse within a reactive cycle. Emotional reactivity, a necessary short-term survival mechanism, can become a long-term maladaptive response, leading to perpetual defense rather than constructive dialogue. Such sustained reactivity is evident in the widespread use of social media, where the nuanced, truth-seeking aspects of communication are eclipsed by the platform’s inherent design that favors sensationalism and emotional contagion. This environment diminishes the capacity for mutual understanding and comprehensive evaluation of complex social issues, fostering a climate where binary thinking and polarization thrive.

Applying individual psychological theories to broader sociopolitical contexts can elucidate current global tensions. Leaders and nations, like individuals, may reflexively resort to defense mechanisms that do not foster long-term security or peace. The lessons are clear: sympathy for a nation’s plight can diminish rapidly when the response is perceived as aggressive, and acts of terrorism cannot be effectively countered by military might alone. Missteps stemming from reactivity can erode trust in institutions and deepen conflicts, making the world less safe.

The architecture of social media restricts identity expression by carving up the online populace into identity-based factions. These digital enclaves enforce strict in-group norms and magnify differences, inhibiting open dialogue and empathy. This gives rise to a “careful culture” where people often prioritize expressing certainty over engaging in meaningful discourse. As the global population increasingly turns to social media for information, the lack of nuance and the push for emotional resonance over truth threaten social cohesion.

Social media’s influential role in raising awareness is evident in movements like Me Too and Black Lives Matter. While these platforms excel at spreading awareness, the depth of that awareness and its capacity to effect social change is unclear. The paradox of social media lies in its simultaneous ability to amplify voices for social causes yet reduce complex issues to simplistic, performative acts. The risk is that impactful actions are replaced by mere gestures. This performative aspect highlights the need for caution in distinguishing between genuine advocacy and mere online presence.

In therapy, the ‘virtual impingement’ phenomena — where events within the digital sphere intrude upon the therapeutic space — can profoundly impact the patient-therapist dynamic. Information about the therapist or patient that was once private is now potentially in the public domain. This accessibility can disrupt the therapeutic alliance and challenge the traditional boundaries of therapy, demanding new considerations for managing personal information. There is a delicate balance between maintaining professional boundaries and the inescapable reach of digital life.

Search engines like Google present new challenges in how individuals relate to one another, offering a stark contrast to traditional face-to-face encounters. The vast reach and speed of the internet can disseminate personal narratives widely, impacting how we perceive others and ourselves. Internet searches can reveal a fragmented online identity, often devoid of context, distorting our perception of each other. These soundbites can pre-empt real-world encounters discouraging meaningful contact.

The transformative power of social media and other digital tools in personal and societal contexts is undeniable. Platforms like Twitter and Facebook have facilitated global awareness and activism yet fostered fragmentation and division culture. The ‘careful culture’ of online interaction can undermine the social issues it seeks to address by encouraging performative rather than substantive discourse. Understanding these dynamics is crucial, as is recognizing that social media’s ability to initiate change is limited by its nature. Constructive use of these platforms involves identifying their strengths and limitations and directing efforts toward spaces that foster genuine dialogue and action. To achieve positive social change, it is essential to complement online activism with real-world engagement, ensuring that the diversity and complexity of the human experience are fully represented and addressed in the pursuit of a more equitable society.


“I am in a caste that I know is about to be under attack. It’s dark and cold in here. I am gathering up small animals and putting them in a closet to keep them safe. I pulled out a magic wand that I didn’t know I had and did some kind of spell to lock the closet door. I double-check that it’s locked, and it is, but then I worry it’s not locked strong enough, so I go to find someone who can help me lock it even stronger. I find a professor who tells me how to do it, and I go back to the closet to fortify the door. I check the door again, but this time, it opens. I am now frustrated with myself for trying to fix something that wasn’t broken, and I re-do the lock as I had originally done. Now, I am late to hide myself, and I rush to the basement where I will stay safe from the attack. As I descend the staircase, I realize I am headed to my parents’ basement. I notice a painting hanging on the wall of the stairwell, and I know I painted it, but I don’t recognize it. It’s better than anything I remember painting, a lively scene of large, colorful bodies dancing. The basement is crowded and chaotic, filled with old stuff and people. I recognize a childhood friend I know to be a tarot reader now. I want to talk to her, but as soon as I get close, she disappears into the crowd. I wonder if it’s safe to go back upstairs to check on the animals, and I notice a woman coming down with laundry in her arms. I figure that if it’s safe enough for her to do such a mundane task, it must be safe for me to go back up. The next thing I knew, I was sitting in the dark closet with all the animals I protected: two ravens, two cats, a teacup pig, and a small dog. The guinea pigs are missing; I know the woman doing laundry must have them. I go back downstairs to find her and make sure she doesn’t accidentally put them in the wash. She has them wrapped tightly in white towels, and I free them from their bind.”


Aaron Balick, PhD. is a psychotherapist, speaker, consultant, and author of the seminal text The Psychodynamics of Social Networking, which brought him international recognition as an authority on the psychology of social media and technology. Drawing on more than twenty years of clinical and academic experience, Aaron is a leading voice in the public understanding of psychology and how it can be directly applied to benefit individuals, business, and society. Aaron is committed to popularising ideas from psychology in ways that are engaging, entertaining, and accessible to audiences worldwide. He is a mental health writer with appearances in a variety of media including contributions in Wired MagazineNewsweekBBC Online and The Guardian. He was a regular voice as the longest serving “agony uncle” on The Surgery, a BBC Radio 1 phone-in show for younger people, and has offered his expertise across a variety of radio and television productions. As an honorary senior lecturer at the Department for Psychosocial and Psychoanalytic Studies at the University of Essex, Aaron actively participates in academic research. He runs a private psychotherapy practice in London and psychological consultancy worldwide. Aaron is the author of two self-help books, the illustrated children’s book Keep Your Cool: how to deal with life’s worries and stress (now in second edition) and The Little Book of Calm the definitive guide to taming your anxieties, facing your fears, and living free.


Twitter and Instagram:  @DrAaronB




Psychoanalytic reflections on Google, social networking, and ‘virtual impingement’

Social Media, Identity, and Careful Culture

On The Failure to Understand: The Psychology of Weaponised Reactivity


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  1. Gwen Murphy

    Among us general-audience listeners I’m willing to bet I’m not alone in deeply appreciating the technical explanations of psychoanalytic concepts, naming of key figures (M. Klein), and raising up of issues we identify with as humans, contemplatives, and while not inclined to follow the herd, are sincere students of Jungian thought, therefore followers of this podcast.

  2. Gwen Murphy

    So appreciate Lisa’s articulation about what is happening on the world stage, and how indigestible/incomprehensible it is. How I’ve been feeling.
    Gabor Mate, known for his work in trauma and addiction, Jewish survivor of the Holocaust, is speaking from a “depressive position” regarding how to understand the Palestinian-Israeli conflict from a larger historical context. He speaks on Wisdom 2.0 and SAND (Science and Nonduality) platforms.


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