People who are chronically late create relational problems with others and generate negative consequences for themselves, from embarrassment and guilt to loss of friendships or jobs. Chronic lateness evidences a split between consciousness and the unconscious: while the ego may feel distressed about lateness, the unconscious may be expressing an unmet need and deriving a benefit from lateness. That is why self-help strategies such as setting multiple alarm clocks and allowing extra time for travel seldom solve the problem of chronic lateness or feel satisfying. Lisa, Joseph, and Deb discuss possible unconscious motivations for lateness, including its role as an inelegant effort at individuation.
Here’s the dream we discuss:
I begin the dream in a giant mall-like building. It stretches as far as I can see. There are no stores or other people. There are only dozens of escalators at different levels leading different places, much like a multi-story maze. I find the place exciting in its expanse. I next find myself leaving the building through an outdoor walkway which leads to a little cabin surrounded by plants, trees, and grass. There are 5 or 6 other people here, all of whom I consider friends. Suddenly, I’m aware I need to fetch something from the basement of the giant building. Problem is, I need a key. Everyone has a key, except I lost mine. There’s an extra key in the cabin, but I’m told it’s possessed and I shouldn’t use it. However, whatever it is I need from the basement is tremendously important, so I decide to grab the key and go. I venture back to the building and make my way up and down many escalators, finally finding the basement. I don’t remember anything about the basement, only that I find what I’m looking for. I’m excited as I make my way back to the cabin. However, once I reach it, my vision becomes entirely blue. Yellow words flash up on what looks like a blue screen, though I don’t know what the writing says. This blue screen disappears quickly, and what’s left is a purplish-grey screen with a black orb in the bottom right corner. I understand the orb to be an eye, which watches me intently. I wake up with my heart racing.
Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash
Love this podcast. Thank you. I’ve learned so much both in terms of myself, others and my clients. Great ideas for exploration and self reflection.