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Allerleirauh: When a mother’s legacy becomes a trauma

Jan 16, 2026

VIDEO

AUDIO

 

If you have been through betrayal or loss, you may still be living by a terrible rule you made when in pain.
It can look like hiding, overworking, numbing out, or letting people cross lines because being unseen feels safer.
This episode uses the fairy tale “All-Kinds-of-Fur” to help you identify your survival pattern and take the next step out of it.

When you update the rule, you made when in trauma, you get your choices back.

What you’ll learn

  • Identify the “impossible promise” that keeps you stuck, and where it began.
  • Notice your “fur cloak,” the mask of busyness, perfectionism, people pleasing, or disappearing.
  • Stop confusing coping with identity and start practicing safer honesty.
  • Practice the “30-minute return,” small windows to feel, speak, and be seen.
  • Build endurance through gentle reveal-retreat-return, until you can stay safely present.

In the tale, the princess survives by covering herself in fur and soot, and you may have built a costume too.
That costume once protected you; now it may block love, work opportunities, and genuine intimacy.
You might scroll at night, over-function in relationships, or stay “fine” so nobody asks.
Healing is repeated practice; you show up, you pull back, you show up again.
The “gold” in the story is what stays intact in you, even after the worst day.
This week, choose one safe moment to let that gold show, one honest sentence, one boundary, one small ask, then note the result.

HERE’S THE DREAM WE ANALYZE

I found myself in complete darkness. I opened my eyes as wide as I could, hoping to find light. There was none. I realized, with horror, that this made me very vulnerable. I could be attacked and not see it coming. I knew what I had to do. I needed to grow fur. I concentrated hard on getting fur to grow on my legs. A soft fuzz emerged. I then held up my hand and noticed there was the smallest bit of light now, as though the sun was rising, but I couldn’t see a source. As I made out the image of my hand, I saw my flesh bubbling like a thick liquid. I was pleased. Hair would soon grow there, too. I focused on my back, trying to will hair to spring up from my flesh, but it was too hard to make a connection with that part of my body. I was worried. I needed that fur on my back for protection.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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